look how far we've come my baby!

cheesy? i know! ;p

but happy 1st anniversary to us!

for the love of my life:

• thank you for putting up with me when i was whiny, selfish, ungrateful, and simply being impossible!
• thank you for always being there EXACTLY when I needed you
• thank you for being the one i could tell anything to
• thank you for understanding me when i felt like no one did
• thank you for being so patient and considerate
• thank you for all the times you took the blame (sorry!)
• thank you for standing by me thru thick and thin
• thank you for being my best friend
• thank you for sacrificing your own dreams and desires to make way for mine (i promise i'll make it up to u :))

above all,
thank you for being you!

am looking forward to spending many happy years with u

hugs and kisses,

your cute wife ;) *barf*

flaming hot *kipas*

anniversary lunch

us :)

p.s. some of these words are not originally mine, but just pretend that they're mine k ;p

p.p.s i've changed the post date and time to match our solemnization time (approx.)

Fashion smashion~

"Tulipe"

See that dress above? It was showcased during Dior fashion show last week. Drop dead gorgeous isn't it? *drool*

If only I could wear one....Hahaaa dream on woman!

Anyhow, I love dresses and skirts so much I'd be willing to be a fashion criminal! Well, you know, the kind who wears skirt OVER jeans :p
But sorry, no leggings for me, a tad bit too tight IMHO - plus DH strongly disapproves that.

To be an observant muslim (pls, I'm not trying to brag here), I need to obey my husband and MOST importantly try my best to follow the guidelines from Al-Quran and As-Sunnah. That being said, I just can't go overboard with this fashion thingy :)

Oh haute couture! How I wish to step my foot in Paris, or Milan, or New York~

PS. I love fashion so very much but somehow, sometimes, I don't give a flying fish on how do I dress myself. Trust me, I'm a mess when it comes to grooming or dressing up. Ironic isn't it? Let's just say I'm a fashion stalker ;p

PPS. Don't you just love seasons change? It directly translates to big BIG sale! :D

PPPS. Beauty is only skin deep

Back to the roots

Last day in Kelantan...

Hi, my old playground :)

White sand; symbolizes Abah's hometown - Pasir Puteh. Tok Ayah is such a philosopher, cum naturally talented landscaper.

Grandpa showcasts his penchant for cacti and antiques

His favourite icon; made by himself.

Some of his collections

Earlier that day..

Our parents' 28th anniversary. Alhamdulillah :)

A day before..

Mama; tudung hunting

Thanks Mama for the 'kacae rebuh' (steamed groundnuts). Sorry 'etok' (corbicula clams), you were never my favourite :p

All in all, the week spent in Kelantan was very fulfilling. Though it didn't go as planned, I truly enjoyed myself; being surrounded by my loved ones :)

Our original plan was to stay in Villa Danialla in Tok Bali, having barbecue by the white sandy beach. But it was cancelled due to hubby's arm injury :(
Well, maybe next time! InsyaAllah, and am really looking forward to!

Akhir kata, terimalah pose x senonoh ni :P

Dari anakmu yang hina :'(

After all these years, I am still not independent - financially.

I've put my parents through enough burdens already, and I do not wish to do that again. But it saddens me, really, when I still pose as one up till now. Received an SMS from my father this morning, it was so heartrending I almost cried.

"Salam.i've credited rm* for u to take taxi."

Struck and ashamed, little did I know that the innocent phone conversation with my mother, on walking for more than a mile to the lab, will eventually lead to this.

You don't have to, Abah. Really :(

I have my allowance, and more importantly, I have a husband who is more than willing to buy me anything within his means.
Not to say that I don't need you, no, but what I meant is please splurge on your hobbies or holidays, rather than paying my bills. Let your useless up-to-no-good daughter feel the flavors of life called pain and hardships in order to keep her feet on the ground.

How can I ever repay you? Thousands of years, millions of dollars will never suffice. I will forever be indebted. Hanya Allah yang dapat membalas jasamu Mama, Abah.
I hope I can be as selfless as both of you someday. I seldom express this, but please do know that I love you endlessly. And from the bottom of my heart, I wish you both undying happiness, dunia dan akhirat. May Allah bless you. Amin.

With Abah, Mama & lil brother Irfan

Diary

Yes, a diary. This is what a blog supposed to be right? I think I'm gonna stick with this mode for umm, now.

_________


Started my morning with a bit of enthusiasm after a good 9-hour sleep. But damn that technical glitch in Sijangkang, I needed to walk for more than a mile with a 4kg backpack. Reached CICT then headed straight to cafe to wolf down a full-plate of nasi goreng.

So when I finally got the chance to check my result at the postgrad office, I was literally giddy. Senarai tampal had been up since last week, not official yet though. And I was kinda surprised how things eventually turned up - couldn't help but to feel both pleasantly surprised, and disappointed. Somehow I think I can do better, but what the heck, I've been saying this line every single time after getting my results!
Anyway anyhow, Alhamdulillah..

And while scanning for my IC No on the list, suddenly my favourite lecturer Professor Naomie, passed by and tegur "Haa macam mana result? Bagus?" And me being awkward, replied "Err..taktau, lupa course code". Hahahaha..
Seriously I don't know how some of you can get along very well with your lecturers/supervisors - I for one, felt seriously intimidated by their mere presence. Kenapa ha? Benciiiiiiiii gileeee why am I such a socially awkward freak! :/

After that embarrassing moment I headed back to the lab while repeating the mantra "I need to improve my people skills..I need to improve my communication skills.." LOL.
The pills I took earlier in the morning had finally taken their toll on me. Felt dizzy but I toughen it up, while fumbling for some clues online on how to use SVM multiclass, and how to share folders between host and guest virtual machine. I deeply regret giving up learning Linux while having the chance and some gurus few years ago. Now eat that!

1.30pm. Time for lunch, then balik bilik tido. So that's how I spent my day. Or half day. Either way, it was bland :o

the one thing to rule all

thought this is worth sharing - taken from an old pamphlet stuck on the softboard - left by the previous occupant.

tanda hati rosak:

-hati menderita dengan dunia seperti:

• bersedih kerana miskin
  
• susah hati orang kaya
  
• menderita lihat orang senang

well, the first point tu i honestly think any normal people akan terasa at least a bit sedih kot? though money is not everything, *almost* everything revolves around money nowadays, whether we like it or not :(

ape2 pun, rezeki semua di tangan Allah, sedihla byk mana pun, mmg dh tertulis rezeki kita byk tu..so, redha is the best way (tp kalau duk tido sambil tunggu duit jatuh dari langit tu bodo namanya haha)

yes well said. message me for my account number :P

tapi, 2 point terakhir tu mcm sgt keji kan? busuk hati gile. nauzubillah

cliche much?

in blogosphere, i think everyone has at least gone through this once - writer's block, that is.

i seriously dont know what to write in here. and if some of you might notice, several posts had been removed - simply because they're rubbish, or so i thought.

or either i think i disclosed too much info they might annoy someone. or whatever.

(forgive my indecisiveness heh :p)

apart from that, i think my writing skill is degrading. reason being, i havent read any substantial books for ages!

oh how i wish i can enjoy reading, playing games, watching animes, and even sleeping (!!) as much as before. well, those days are past.

sheesh...i fret too much these days. blame it on the road less traveled?

peluh =_="

aku terpanggil utk post psl kes excessive sweating or hyperhidrosis lepas tgk status ym adikku - "mengapa tanganku berpeluh? :s" kes3

ok, actually it runs in our family. daripada abg sulungku sampaila adik bongsuku, sume menghidapi penyakit yg pretty annoying ni which in our case, sweaty palms :|
yg peliknya, both our parents (and even grandparents) xde pun problem ni. so, it has to come from the fusion of our parents' genes :p

just like a conclusion made by my sister kaktik on 'gigi berlapis' - "gigi abah besar, gusi mama kecik. kita dpt gigi abah n gusi mama, so terjadila kes gigi berlapis" haha kiut jek kesimpulan dia buat :D

ok back to hyperhidrosis. seriously memang tak best.
antara sebab2nya:

• rasa tak konfiden bila nak salam dgn orang lain (malu pun ada)
• time exam lg teruk, terpaksa berhenti menulis sbb kena berenti lap tangan
• terpaksa pegang tisu all the time. stok tissue mesti kena salu ada.
• kalau naik lrt/bas and tak dpt seat, terpaksa pegang palang besi. kalau tgn berpeluh boleh terpusing 360 degree (kisah benar tp bukan berlaku kat aku of kos :p)

image taken from sd-neurosurgeon

that's why, some people went to great lengths just to curb this super-annoying problem.
for people like us, surgery is very common nowadays. tp rm8k just for this, ko ade? and mind you, ini rate 2-3 taun lps :|
as for me, well apart from takde duit, i think i still can live with this. tp for some people yg keje asyik jumpa client, which obviously need to shake hands, surgery is inevitable.

and takut jugak ada side effects lain, such as tetiba berpeluh kt tempat lain such as underarms, lagi naya kan? tangan berpeluh is wayyy better than ketiak berpeluh, no?
besides, i think this is a way of maintaining my figure despite my glutton-ish appetite. alhamdulillah :D

so i guess it's not that bad after all, well at least for now hehe. who knows i might consider botox in the near future, kan? huhu not THAT kind of facial botox la of coz ;p

the world is not enough

image from scrapetv

lately i've been so rajin to read the online news. but now i think i kinda regret doing that. it's extremely depressing to read about murder, rape, robbery, and what not, on daily basis. what the world is becoming into? im scared for my family and friends, and not to forget all those innocent people out there. what the future holds for us? Nauzubillah. and not to mention about natural catastrophe such as volcanic eruption and earthquakes, i seriously think the end is nigh.



oh tomorrow morning will be my last paper, yay for that! but i think there are much bigger issues than myself to think about..yet i rest my case here.

-smbg stadi before kena marah ngan someone :p-

p/s DO NOT be too complacent with your surroundings. ladies and gentlemen, please take care! i pray for everyone's safety, amin.

hate and love

final exam

this semester ada 3 paper, 2 down 1 more to go yeay!
ada this one paper (advanced artificial intelligence) sgtlaaa susah. no hints and past exam papers are confidential, so who would've thought tetiba ade soalan suh analyze then draw in venn diagram, pastu buat integration and differentiation of some polynomials, arctan and ape mende tah lg.
kat utp dulu pun at least they provided some formulas kan, ni xde langsung!
i was dumbfounded. like seriously?
i am exam oriented so ape2 yg blaja dulu mmg lupa kecuali yg betul2 minat.
and obviously i hate maths kui2 mmg la x igt. lps baca soalan i even wondered adakah aku silap masuk hall, ini maths exam ke ape weh?
luckily semua org ckp sgt susah, so legala sket kan :P

if you think computer science is easy, think again. *sigh*
and if i am to proceed in this field, i really2x need to sharpen my maths skills :/



demise of my favourite blouse

memula kena berak dgn burung (time tgh jln2 tetiba ade benda jatuh kt lengan..pelik gile xtahu ape benda sbb kaler merah (euww) pastu bila dongak ke ats nmpk ada beberapa ekor burung ..dgn pantas aku gi serang mamak kt depan cari sink :P
then basuhla baju tu kan, bila kuar washing machine tgk2 dah koyak sket kt depan, mcm berlubang n xboleh jahit balik, ganas gile washing machine tu :(
yg kelakanya makcik maid siap pujuk rayu aku jgn btau my mom-in-law sbb takut kena marah..kesian dia mcm takut gile kt boss huhu.
haih aku pun x sangka first time basuh without using laundry net terus jd macam ni.. menyesal x suh maid basuh tgn je (slambe aku tumpang bibik org kan :p)

now im on a personal hunt for my new fav, been eyeing that zara blouse tp mahal sgt la bg seorg student mcm aku :(
nk pow hubby x smp ati plak, since aritu dia baru je blanje this one white blouse..i love it but you know, the material's just not the same :'(
x saba tunggu end season sale..arghhh lmbtnyeh T_T



living with my in-laws

hehe can u believe it? well apparently my hubby lives with his parents.
they've just moved (from kuala pilah) to banting last february since his mother had been transferred to the newly opened kolej matrikulasi selangor in banting.
previously, he stayed with his father and brothers in shah alam but now his father travels to and fro banting-shah alam on daily basis. so, he left as well bcos he couldnt stand living in rumah org bujang yg agak..'bujang' (if you get what i mean :p)
for the time being they stay at lecturers' quarters since the new house is still under major renovation and expected to finish in 2-3 months' time.
so everytime blk nk jumpa encik hasben, aku dpt pakej berjumpa keluarga mertua skali huhu..kinda awkward at first, but im adapting :)
seriously i eat a lottt everytime blk banting, like 4 proper meals in a day, kejap2 kena panggil kuar makan haha (yes aku lepak dlm bilik je...kuar2 je makanan dh tersedia huhuhu x senonoh kan?) bad bad menantu!
after this, when we finally live together, i wanna have our own house (well who doesnt?) bukan ape kalau slalu jumpa ni mudah je org nmpk keburukan kita kan (dhla aku ni byk kekurangan huhu)

anyway, im really grateful dpt mertua yg baik. alhamdulillah :)

sick

in about two hours from now, ill be presenting my research progress to two dreaded professors, yet i still have time to blog!

i think my ADD (or ADHD) is getting worse :(

dulu siap igt kena buatan orang lagi, pastu ajak mak jumpa ustaz, sbb mcm sgt heran kenapalaaa aku ni sangat3 hyper malas??
but then she casually disregarded my intention as "mengarut" lol i was dead serious about it though! kelaka gile bila igt balik haha!

yes, i've been having this syndrome back in high school. it got worse when i entered college, where i could never focus on my studies. but in doing things that i enjoy (such as gaming), i had no such problem :|
so it's true what they claim, that having ADD can be fruitful, especially in doing something you truly deeply passionate about.

so, here i am, trying hard to love what i do..

fun fact: justin timberlake, albert einstein and thomas edison are among famous people with ADHD

okay, i think i really need to stop now, slide x buat lagi!!! mampos

what's your flavor?

w00t i have been tagged by my cheeky-but-gediks sister haha! :p
ok, this is my first time, so forgive me if i seem unorthodox

the instruction:

YOU HAVE TO PRINT SCREEN WALLPAPER THAT YOU ARE USING NOW,
TELL US WHY YOU LIKE THE WALLPAPER

mine

ok, for starter, i dont really like my wallpaper. but let's just say i kinda have to use this one due to recent overloads of journal papers in my desktop. since i've saved them direct from the web without rename-ing (lazy-ass), tracking and sorting those files gave me headache. so, i have to resort to this minimalist wallpaper *sigh*

being a hoarder, my desktop seldom has this clean and sleek look (prasan). i've always loved to use a serene, refreshing wallpaper, especially nice lake/beach/sky/mountain scenery with a lil bit of greenery but my current so-called busy life would not let me (bajet bz kan -_-"). it's just dizzying when combined with those unsorted files and icons :(

ok, that's all!

ok, skarang nk tag sape ek? since i dont have that many readers, i only have one in mind - kak intan the siriyes-bride-to-be maybe? :D

p/s ya, i loveee your wallpaper!

Of borrowed life and its volatility

Recent death of a cherished celebrity, my uncle had a stroke, and a friend uploaded her post-accident picture showing face covered with wounds and cuts; truly reminded me how fragile our life is.

And how shallow + ignorant am I, only to be reminded by close events I can relate with.

Whatever we have been blessed with, might lose in a blink of an eye. We're living high and mighty today, only due to the mercy of Allah.


To arwah, may you find solace in the afterlife.

To Ayah Zam and family, hope you guys are doing well over there, take care. Our prayers are all with you. Pls come back here soon, we're all getting worried :(

Although we're not really good friends and we only spoke once or twice, my heart goes out to u, Lia. Get well soon, hope you have a quick recovery :'(

May Allah forgive us all, Amin.

I deserve nothing more than I get,
cause nothing I have is truly mine.

- Dido, Life for rent

P/S To all my loved ones, please, be safe on the road. Jgn lupa baca doa naik kenderaan, for kita ikhtiar, Allah yg tentukan.

updates for you dear readers~

oh tajuk x boleh blah haha, tp tu la, ikut statistik mmg ade gak org bace blog lame ni, wpun kalau nk kira lebih kurang 1 visitor per week jek hihi :D

finally i can update this blog dgn hati yg tenang, xyah serabut nk fikir psl research lg for the time being, lega!
to my biggest surprise my supervisor has been very kind to let me rest for two weeks..aww thank u! maybe sbb finally dia puas ati with my work, and come to think of it, i think i owe myself some credits since ive never worked this hard pun before.

teruk btul perangai, tunggu org marah baru nk buat keje btul2? bad bad attitude!

alhamdulillah everything went very smoothly these past few days. and ive learnt few lessons:

• hard work pays (duh, ini sume org pun tau..tp utk org malas mcm aku ini sgt penting hehe)
• jgn amik hati sgt dgn kata2 org lain (ini pun sgt penting. aku ni sgt mudah terasa, and i will dwell on that for few days. these stuffs really are tiring, so better jgn fikir sgt!)
• dont hate hateful people. pity them, for they have some issues with themselves (just dont let their bad vibes affect u, NO, not even the tiniest bit pls)
• be around happy people, you'll be happier.

oh, i LOVE you happy people! :)

me and my 'galoks' adik :D

Urm, reality bites?

I secretly wish I can be one of these:

• Fashion designer (koya mung)
• Artist (fine art, bukan artis kt tibi tu. to dear sis ya, you're pursuing my dream job. /me jeles~)
• Interior designer (padahal bilik sendiri bersepah mcm tongkang pecah)
• Fiction writer (of sorcery and wizardry, elves and dwarfs, dungeons and dragons, or even dune-ish science fiction?)
• Makeup artist (tp pakai eyeliner pun fail. camne?)
• Wedding planner (sukeeee~ so in luv with white lacy garden wedding. but the clients have to suit my style lah. boleh? haha bajettt :p)
  

I am left-handed so I guess it's typical to have these kind of interests, bajet artistic kann..

Tp ape yg aku wat skang berkait rapat dgn gambar kt bwh tu.. tetiba rasa mcm xsesuai dgn jiwa & otak kanan ku huhu, terpaksa la struggle lebih T_T

(Image courtesy of Google)

sentap~

"your work is rubbish. kalau saya rate awk dari 0-100, awk layak dpt negative jek."

huhu teruk aku kena dgn supervisor T_T

sesungguhnya aku berazam xmo wat keje ala kadar dah :'(

ya Allah kuatkanlah semangat ku. aminn~

bestnye~

so my blog just got a face-lift.
nothing much, just a simple css tweak.

but, i'm loving it to bitsssssss. oh~~

*sambil imagine tgh berlari2 atas air kt moraine lake under the clear blue sky~*

narcissism at its best? -_-"



p/s thank you mr. google for the stunning images of my dream vacation spot~ bila tah nk smp sana T_T
dear hubby, pwetty please?? :D

malam yg sunyi

knapekah aku rase (500) days of summer sgt busan n smp tetido-tido nk abeskan last2 tgk sekerat jalan tak sampai separuh pun?

adakah sbb tgk dgn hubby yg b4 tgk lg mmg dh skeptical n cakap cite tu bakal membosankan?

=.=

btw awk jgn delete lg tau cite tu sy nk abeskan n try tgk balik sorang2 kot2 tetibe jd best plak kan :p

aih rindu nk tgk muvi same2 lg, see u in two weeks' time! :*

p/s title xde kaitan, tp mmg sunyi pun duk kt bilik sorg2 rumet blk

the fear

a friend of mine just got pregnant, i am really happy for her... from her fb status and all, i know she's been wanting a baby like forever~ congrats puan nadiah, so happy for you :)

anyway, in her blog post she did mention about feeling 'seriau', knowing what to expect next - bulging tummy, the dreaded delivery..and having added responsibility... a kid!

omg, that's soo scary :s

as for me, i think pregnancy is too "surreal" for me to handle (yet)...and i am positively NOT ready for that yet.. :s

oh marriage is big, but having kids is much MUCH bigger!
and plus i am a baby myself! (kak intan pinjam quote ek hehe)

and a friend of mine once said - "biasa orang yg tak nak baby awal2 la yg senang dpt..sbb Allah nak uji"

those words of hers managed to send a cold shock all over my body..huuuu~

soalan! kalau takut sgt nk ade baby kenapa kawin awal?
- my answer: ko kawin sbb nk dpt baby AWAL je ke? oh dont be so shallow :p

reality check:
you will never know what Allah has in store for you.
either way, kita merancang Allah yg menentukan... so just be prepared T_T

/me still shivering thinking about the notion of getting pregnant :s

Slacker

"Don't ever stop halfway when you're doing something, or else it'll be very hard to gain momentum once again."

Can you relate to this?

.................I sure can T_T

But for what it's worth, finish what you've started.

Just remember these words of wisdom - "Bukan senang nak senang"

Kucing ni bes jek.. bleh tido n main sepanjang hari, x perlu nk fikir psl future whatsoever :|

p/s To whom it may concern, me still sedey x dpt tgk tulips :(

Homesick!

Your love is like tears from the stars~
Loving you is like food to my soul..
(Boyz II Men - A Song For Mama)

Miss u much :'(

ppl are just..PEOPLE!

kinda hate to restrict what i HAVE to write in here..
this is my space, i can write whatever i want..

which is why i dont want to 'publicize' this blog..because i know, when some strangers or even friends read this, they will be judgmental or worse, annoyed!


which brings me to......why do i always have a bad perspective on the world and its content?

well, proves my point here - people are just people :)

ambitious to a fault

yes, you may aim for the moon, but PLEASE keep your feet on the ground.

duk sibuk berangan smp ape keje pun x jd. haha!

ayoyo~~!!!!

symmetrical == beautiful ??? NO!

today, i have come to a conclusion that my body is a wonderland, BUT not in a good way, i'm afraid :|

lately my face can be compared to a highly active volcano, with non-stop eruptions - thanks to my wedding makeup sessions and previous menstrual period, with extra credits to my little 'helpful' fingers.

to my dismay, these pimples just wonderfully located themselves in a very symmetrical manner.
my chin has four cute pimples as we speak, which resembling a small cross - one up one down one left and one right. and i have two more on my left and right cheeks - perfectly parallel. BUMMER.

yes, facial symmetry may be considered as one of the human aesthetic traits, but in this case, it is fcuking ugly!!

me biting my lip in exasperation. see those culprits and the resulting inflammation they made??? *sighhhh*