Diary

Yes, a diary. This is what a blog supposed to be right? I think I'm gonna stick with this mode for umm, now.

_________


Started my morning with a bit of enthusiasm after a good 9-hour sleep. But damn that technical glitch in Sijangkang, I needed to walk for more than a mile with a 4kg backpack. Reached CICT then headed straight to cafe to wolf down a full-plate of nasi goreng.

So when I finally got the chance to check my result at the postgrad office, I was literally giddy. Senarai tampal had been up since last week, not official yet though. And I was kinda surprised how things eventually turned up - couldn't help but to feel both pleasantly surprised, and disappointed. Somehow I think I can do better, but what the heck, I've been saying this line every single time after getting my results!
Anyway anyhow, Alhamdulillah..

And while scanning for my IC No on the list, suddenly my favourite lecturer Professor Naomie, passed by and tegur "Haa macam mana result? Bagus?" And me being awkward, replied "Err..taktau, lupa course code". Hahahaha..
Seriously I don't know how some of you can get along very well with your lecturers/supervisors - I for one, felt seriously intimidated by their mere presence. Kenapa ha? Benciiiiiiiii gileeee why am I such a socially awkward freak! :/

After that embarrassing moment I headed back to the lab while repeating the mantra "I need to improve my people skills..I need to improve my communication skills.." LOL.
The pills I took earlier in the morning had finally taken their toll on me. Felt dizzy but I toughen it up, while fumbling for some clues online on how to use SVM multiclass, and how to share folders between host and guest virtual machine. I deeply regret giving up learning Linux while having the chance and some gurus few years ago. Now eat that!

1.30pm. Time for lunch, then balik bilik tido. So that's how I spent my day. Or half day. Either way, it was bland :o

cliche much?

in blogosphere, i think everyone has at least gone through this once - writer's block, that is.

i seriously dont know what to write in here. and if some of you might notice, several posts had been removed - simply because they're rubbish, or so i thought.

or either i think i disclosed too much info they might annoy someone. or whatever.

(forgive my indecisiveness heh :p)

apart from that, i think my writing skill is degrading. reason being, i havent read any substantial books for ages!

oh how i wish i can enjoy reading, playing games, watching animes, and even sleeping (!!) as much as before. well, those days are past.

sheesh...i fret too much these days. blame it on the road less traveled?

hate and love

final exam

this semester ada 3 paper, 2 down 1 more to go yeay!
ada this one paper (advanced artificial intelligence) sgtlaaa susah. no hints and past exam papers are confidential, so who would've thought tetiba ade soalan suh analyze then draw in venn diagram, pastu buat integration and differentiation of some polynomials, arctan and ape mende tah lg.
kat utp dulu pun at least they provided some formulas kan, ni xde langsung!
i was dumbfounded. like seriously?
i am exam oriented so ape2 yg blaja dulu mmg lupa kecuali yg betul2 minat.
and obviously i hate maths kui2 mmg la x igt. lps baca soalan i even wondered adakah aku silap masuk hall, ini maths exam ke ape weh?
luckily semua org ckp sgt susah, so legala sket kan :P

if you think computer science is easy, think again. *sigh*
and if i am to proceed in this field, i really2x need to sharpen my maths skills :/



demise of my favourite blouse

memula kena berak dgn burung (time tgh jln2 tetiba ade benda jatuh kt lengan..pelik gile xtahu ape benda sbb kaler merah (euww) pastu bila dongak ke ats nmpk ada beberapa ekor burung ..dgn pantas aku gi serang mamak kt depan cari sink :P
then basuhla baju tu kan, bila kuar washing machine tgk2 dah koyak sket kt depan, mcm berlubang n xboleh jahit balik, ganas gile washing machine tu :(
yg kelakanya makcik maid siap pujuk rayu aku jgn btau my mom-in-law sbb takut kena marah..kesian dia mcm takut gile kt boss huhu.
haih aku pun x sangka first time basuh without using laundry net terus jd macam ni.. menyesal x suh maid basuh tgn je (slambe aku tumpang bibik org kan :p)

now im on a personal hunt for my new fav, been eyeing that zara blouse tp mahal sgt la bg seorg student mcm aku :(
nk pow hubby x smp ati plak, since aritu dia baru je blanje this one white blouse..i love it but you know, the material's just not the same :'(
x saba tunggu end season sale..arghhh lmbtnyeh T_T



living with my in-laws

hehe can u believe it? well apparently my hubby lives with his parents.
they've just moved (from kuala pilah) to banting last february since his mother had been transferred to the newly opened kolej matrikulasi selangor in banting.
previously, he stayed with his father and brothers in shah alam but now his father travels to and fro banting-shah alam on daily basis. so, he left as well bcos he couldnt stand living in rumah org bujang yg agak..'bujang' (if you get what i mean :p)
for the time being they stay at lecturers' quarters since the new house is still under major renovation and expected to finish in 2-3 months' time.
so everytime blk nk jumpa encik hasben, aku dpt pakej berjumpa keluarga mertua skali huhu..kinda awkward at first, but im adapting :)
seriously i eat a lottt everytime blk banting, like 4 proper meals in a day, kejap2 kena panggil kuar makan haha (yes aku lepak dlm bilik je...kuar2 je makanan dh tersedia huhuhu x senonoh kan?) bad bad menantu!
after this, when we finally live together, i wanna have our own house (well who doesnt?) bukan ape kalau slalu jumpa ni mudah je org nmpk keburukan kita kan (dhla aku ni byk kekurangan huhu)

anyway, im really grateful dpt mertua yg baik. alhamdulillah :)

sick

in about two hours from now, ill be presenting my research progress to two dreaded professors, yet i still have time to blog!

i think my ADD (or ADHD) is getting worse :(

dulu siap igt kena buatan orang lagi, pastu ajak mak jumpa ustaz, sbb mcm sgt heran kenapalaaa aku ni sangat3 hyper malas??
but then she casually disregarded my intention as "mengarut" lol i was dead serious about it though! kelaka gile bila igt balik haha!

yes, i've been having this syndrome back in high school. it got worse when i entered college, where i could never focus on my studies. but in doing things that i enjoy (such as gaming), i had no such problem :|
so it's true what they claim, that having ADD can be fruitful, especially in doing something you truly deeply passionate about.

so, here i am, trying hard to love what i do..

fun fact: justin timberlake, albert einstein and thomas edison are among famous people with ADHD

okay, i think i really need to stop now, slide x buat lagi!!! mampos

updates for you dear readers~

oh tajuk x boleh blah haha, tp tu la, ikut statistik mmg ade gak org bace blog lame ni, wpun kalau nk kira lebih kurang 1 visitor per week jek hihi :D

finally i can update this blog dgn hati yg tenang, xyah serabut nk fikir psl research lg for the time being, lega!
to my biggest surprise my supervisor has been very kind to let me rest for two weeks..aww thank u! maybe sbb finally dia puas ati with my work, and come to think of it, i think i owe myself some credits since ive never worked this hard pun before.

teruk btul perangai, tunggu org marah baru nk buat keje btul2? bad bad attitude!

alhamdulillah everything went very smoothly these past few days. and ive learnt few lessons:

• hard work pays (duh, ini sume org pun tau..tp utk org malas mcm aku ini sgt penting hehe)
• jgn amik hati sgt dgn kata2 org lain (ini pun sgt penting. aku ni sgt mudah terasa, and i will dwell on that for few days. these stuffs really are tiring, so better jgn fikir sgt!)
• dont hate hateful people. pity them, for they have some issues with themselves (just dont let their bad vibes affect u, NO, not even the tiniest bit pls)
• be around happy people, you'll be happier.

oh, i LOVE you happy people! :)

me and my 'galoks' adik :D

Urm, reality bites?

I secretly wish I can be one of these:

• Fashion designer (koya mung)
• Artist (fine art, bukan artis kt tibi tu. to dear sis ya, you're pursuing my dream job. /me jeles~)
• Interior designer (padahal bilik sendiri bersepah mcm tongkang pecah)
• Fiction writer (of sorcery and wizardry, elves and dwarfs, dungeons and dragons, or even dune-ish science fiction?)
• Makeup artist (tp pakai eyeliner pun fail. camne?)
• Wedding planner (sukeeee~ so in luv with white lacy garden wedding. but the clients have to suit my style lah. boleh? haha bajettt :p)
  

I am left-handed so I guess it's typical to have these kind of interests, bajet artistic kann..

Tp ape yg aku wat skang berkait rapat dgn gambar kt bwh tu.. tetiba rasa mcm xsesuai dgn jiwa & otak kanan ku huhu, terpaksa la struggle lebih T_T

(Image courtesy of Google)

sentap~

"your work is rubbish. kalau saya rate awk dari 0-100, awk layak dpt negative jek."

huhu teruk aku kena dgn supervisor T_T

sesungguhnya aku berazam xmo wat keje ala kadar dah :'(

ya Allah kuatkanlah semangat ku. aminn~

Slacker

"Don't ever stop halfway when you're doing something, or else it'll be very hard to gain momentum once again."

Can you relate to this?

.................I sure can T_T

But for what it's worth, finish what you've started.

Just remember these words of wisdom - "Bukan senang nak senang"

Kucing ni bes jek.. bleh tido n main sepanjang hari, x perlu nk fikir psl future whatsoever :|

p/s To whom it may concern, me still sedey x dpt tgk tulips :(

ambitious to a fault

yes, you may aim for the moon, but PLEASE keep your feet on the ground.

duk sibuk berangan smp ape keje pun x jd. haha!

ayoyo~~!!!!

2010

ok, my resolution for this year, tho a bit late:

1. now that im married, i will try my best to please and obey my hubby :*
2. now that im a student again, with lots of assignments and demanding research tasks need to be done, i must to study/read at least 3 hour a day.
3. now that im jobless, i need to control my spending and not splurging unnecessarily :(

:D

lol what a prick.
good thing is, i will never have to deal with this kind of person anymore, hopefully for 1 year & a half :p
yay, 1 more month to go, then i'll be out of my misery soon..SOON!

inspire me!

to do or not to do? that's the question of one's willingness...

lack of inspiration? bullsh*t

why? because even if u have all the inspirations in the world...they only cease to exist in about..milliseconds? *exaggerating*
UNLESS they're overwhelmingly abundant n well..constantly supplied, it wont make any difference

the problem with myself is, i somehow lack in the driving force department.
it's like a fully fueled car which cant get started, and within minutes all those fuel evaporates into thin air...

no matter how inspired i am, without quick action, it will be a waste.
as keeping myself inspired is rather tiring, im saying this to myself:

go get ur ass to work! and i mean NOW!

sleepyhead returns!

seriously, i get a pang of headache just thinking about tomorrow's training *cringe*

earlier today, i've tried my best not to fall asleep during the "lecture" but failed miserably :(
and since it's fasting month, i couldn't have any sweets or coffees to eradicate my drowsiness.

boss : what did u learn from the training?
me : owh..it's about bla bla bla bla
boss : mind to tell me more specifically?
me : uh...there are a lot of features which i cant remember all of them..but..
boss : because u slept during the training right?

*sigh*

i've been having sleepless nights since last month.. come to think of it, i have only slept for 5 hours AT MOST, consecutively everyday for nearly two months *ahem* except during the weekends of course

this fasting month, i've been notoriously known as the sleepyhead of the office....been caught several times nodding off in front of my pc.. which they humorously call "fishing"

must history always repeat itself? darn

i need a break!

haih, work sucks big time lately... ive lost my passion, my motivation..why? honestly i have no one to blame except my own sorry ass T_T

but sure there are some contributing factors...
i hate to badmouth my colleagues.. but the way they communicate really ticks me off. i'm sick of always being kept in the dark..
i know it's my problem not understanding their spoken language..but please, speak English out of courtesy damn it!
can u imagine, u're the ONLY ONE not understanding what they are talking about? at the very least feeling alienated, no?
i felt like a total outsider, and i couldn't help but wonder, were they badmouthing me or something?

it's been 1 year plus and i think i can't take it anymore, plus one of them (my superior) has been very impossibly annoying lately!

love the job, but not the company. yes, been there done that (since THAT love has somehow turned to hate..or whatever...love (as in loving your job) is overrated anyway)

i think it's about time to seek greener pastures